我是有多閑…… ——————————我是分割線———————————— And they wonder why 大人們很疑惑 those of us in our twenties... 為什么我們這些二十出頭的年輕人 refuse to work an 80-hour week... 拒絕每周工作80小時 just so we can afford to buy their BMWs... 只為了買得起他們生產的寶馬汽車 why we aren't interested... in the counterculture 對他們發明的反流行文化不感冒 that they invented... as if we did not see them disembowel their revolution... for a pair of running shoes. 我們只從中看到了他們從這次革命的碩果是一對跑鞋 But the question remains... 但問題依然存在 what are we going to do now? 我們現在要干什么？ How can we repair all the damage we inherited? 我們如何能夠修復所有這些從上一輩留下來的破壞？ Fellow graduates, 我親愛的畢業生同伴們 the answer is simple. 答案很簡單 The answer is... 答案就是 The answer is... 答案是…… I don't know. 我也不知道 Good save, Lelaina. 救得好哦，Lelaina I'm not a valedictorian, 我不是畢業致辭的優生 but I play one on TV. 但我在電視上演了一個 We all know you slept your way to the podium. 我們都知道你是一路睡上去領獎臺的 My favorite part about graduating now would be.. 我最喜歡的畢業的部分是 dodging my student-loan officer for the rest of my life. 以后可以永遠躲著學生貸款經理 He will be in cahoots with the Columbia Record and Tape Company guy... who's been after my ass for years. 他可以勾搭那個跟在我屁股后邊好些年的哥倫比亞唱片公司的家伙 Troy Dyer, I brought you back a souvenir. Troy Dyer，我給你帶了個紀念品 Ah... You know, you can still go back next year and graduate... 你知道，你明年依然可以回去再畢業一次 still get your BF.A. 拿一個藝術學士學位 Oh, can I? And then I can hang this on my rearview mirror... 噢行嗎？然后我就可以把這掛在我的后視鏡上 to brag to all my good buddies back home that I graduated. 跟老家那些小伙伴吹噓炫耀我畢業了 Well, I through with the whole life drama. 我的人生走向了巔峰 Well, I know this sounds cornball... 我知道聽起來有點不知天高地厚 but I'd like to somehow make a difference in people's lives. 但我真的想在改變人類生活上 有一點作為 And I... I would like to buy them all a Coke. 我呢，我想給他們每人每一杯可樂 And you wonder why we never got involved. 難怪我們從來沒有擦出火花 Three words... November sixteenth nineteen-ninety... 三個字，11月16日，199…… Oh, totally drunk 噢，完全是喝醉了、發酒瘋 and out of my mind! It would have been a poetic experience... 其實可能是一次詩意的體驗 if I weren't such a gentleman, which I am. 如果我當時不那么紳士 Just let it go, Dyer. 忘了吧，Troy Surrender the fantasy. 別做夢了 Hey, Sammy, 喂，Sammy what's your goal? 你的目標是什么？ My goal is to... 我的目標是…… Like a career or something. 事業上的或者其他的目標都可以 Lainie, I think the moment has been appropriately captured. Lainie，我想你已經很好地捕捉了這些寶貴瞬間了 Would you please take your face out of the camera? 能否請你放下你的錄像機？ Come on. It's for my documentary. 別這樣，這是為了我的紀錄片 Her...Documentary. 她的紀錄片 Think fast. 快速思考一下 Here's the deal 你看這樣行不行. I'm going to take Sam against his will... and straighten him out 我計劃要將Sam掰直，不管他愿不愿意 because I truly believe...that if we can get two women on the Supreme Court... 我確信，既然我們能把2個女人送上最高法院 we can get at least one on you, Sam. 那我們至少能夠給Sam找到一個 I'm Superman. 我是超人 -I can fly. 我能飛 -She's toast. 她要完了 Aah! Quick, Vickie. 快說，Vickie What's your social security? 你的社會保障號是多少？ Uh... 851-25-9357. Very impressive. 厲害！ It's the only thing I really learned in college. 這是我在大學唯一學會的東西 Sometimes I get that "not so fresh" feeling. 有時候，我覺得自己不再年輕 Conjunction junction, what's your function? Hooking up words and phrases and clauses Conjunction junction, how's that function? Got three favorite cars that get most of my... Honey, honey. No, no, no. 親愛的，不不不 Is yours good? 你的好吃嗎 It doesn't seem fresh. 吃著不新鮮 I'm sorry. 抱歉 Well, I guess it's about time...for me to give you your graduation present, huh? 現在，我該送出你的畢業禮物了 Your... gas card. 你的汽油卡 I'll pay that bill for one year. 我會支付一年的汽油賬單 And since Helen Anne's got herself a brand-new Infinity... 同時，因為Helen Anne買了一輛新的因菲尼迪 we're gonna give you her old BMW. 所以，她舊的寶馬車就歸你了 You can pick it up at our house. 你待會可以來我們家取車 -BMW? BMW? 寶馬？寶馬？ -Yeah. 是呀 Tom, didn't you listen to her speech today? Tom，你今天沒有聽到她的演講嗎？ She didn't want a BMW. 她不想要寶馬 Mom, I'll handle this. 媽媽，我來處理 I'm not gonna sit here and listen again...to some strange ethical argument about a damn car. 我不想坐在這里，再聽一次關于一輛車的奇葩道德爭論 Now, it's got four wheels. 來，這輛車有四個輪子，走得很好 It runs well. And, little darling, after you've been...in the real world for a while... 我的小寶貝，當你進入真實世界之后 you're gonna appreciate that car. 你會很感激自己有一輛車 Yeah. Just think of all those starving children in Africa...who don't even have cars. 是呀，想一想那些吃不飽的非洲兒童，他們就沒有車 Troy, does your father give you gifts like that? Troy，你的爸爸會送你那樣的禮物嗎？ Mom. 媽媽 Well, actually, my father's dying of prostate cancer... 事實上，我爸爸現在處于癌癥晚期 so I don't really trouble him much for gifts. 所以我不想因為禮物而去打擾他 See, Tom. 看看，Tom You don't want a BMW. 你不想要一輛寶馬 Tell him, Lelaina. 告訴他，Lelaina Charlane, she can make up her own mind. Charlane，她能自己做決定 Dad, don't talk to her that way. 爸爸，別這樣的語氣跟她說話 She's not a child. 她不是小孩 Well, she married one. 她嫁的是 What? All right. Excuse me. 你說什么？好，抱歉 Come on, come on. 別這樣，別這樣 Mom, Dad, I'll take the BMW...until I can afford to buy a regular car myself, OK? 媽媽、爸爸，這輛寶馬我要了，等我有能力時我會再買一輛新的，好嗎 OK, Mom? Please? Mom, please, come on. 媽媽，好不好？拜托了，別這樣 Get a Ford. 買福特吧 SINGING: Just to float on the sea Find myself on a page of history You know, as I ride along I can always hear the song about you and where you're meant to be Well, you're gonna tell me the answers I'll know when you come back to me If we should fall, love will catch us every time I hear you call, I will run And if the magic of the adventure overcomes We won't cry, because it could be fun Well, I'm gonna tell you the answers You'll know when you come back to me Gonna be all right When you come back to me Good morning! 早安！ Good morning! 早安！ Ha ha ha ha! Yes. Good morning, 早安！ ladies and... gentleman! 女士們，還有先生們 I see a gentleman right over there! 我看到一位先生坐在那兒！ Good morning! 早安 Good morning! 早安 Boy, I tell you... 告訴你們 it is a good morning with this audience. 今天這是一個好日子 Ha! Well, today, for all you dieters... 哈哈，好，今天，給所有節食者帶來的福利 guiltless goodies from chef Skinny Ninny. 是大廚瘦金妮做的好吃不肥膩的食物 Whoa. Mmm! And we'll also be visiting with a man...right here from Houston who is battling Alzheimer's. 以及，我們還會離開休斯頓，去拜訪一個與阿爾茨海默病抗爭的男人 A beautiful and touching story...of the triumph of the human spirit. 這是一個人類意志勝利的感人美好故事 He's so cheesy, I can't watch him without crackers. 真惡心，簡直無法直視 Now let's take a peek inside our "Video View"... 現在先睹為快 and see what we have in store for today. 看看今天節目的精華內容 It's a special report on children's birthday party themes...taped on location...at 8-year-old Davy Robbins' party...exclusively for our "Video View" collection. 這是關于兒童生日會的特別報道 拍攝于8歲的Davy Robbin的生日會上，特別為我們節目錄制的 Ha ha ha! So... come sit with me. 現在，和我一起坐下來 Relax. 放松 Have a cup of joe. 喝杯咖啡 Oh, shit. Oh, shit. 糟糕！ Well, anyway, it's gonna be a good day. Good morning! 嗯，好吧，今天是個好日子，早安！ You're beautiful. 你真美 We're clear. 我們說清楚 Am I here to amuse you, Miss Pierce? Pierce小姐，我是來供你取樂的嗎？ Am I here to make you laugh? 我是來引你發笑的嗎？ Is that the real reason I'm on this show? 這就是我主持這檔節目的原因？ Mr. Gubler, when I prepare your note cards... Gubler先生，我給你準備提詞紙時 you're supposed to get your own espresso. 你本應自己準備你的咖啡 Didn't you get my "espress yourself" memo? 你沒看到我留言給你的便簽嗎？ I don't have time for your little mind games. 我沒那么多時間玩你的猜謎游戲 I'd like to remind you...that we're laying people off around here. 提醒你一句，我們這兒正在削減人手 I can find an intern who will do your job for free like that. 我隨便就能找到一個免費實習生來接替你的活 SINGING: I been locked out I been locked in But I always seem to come back again And the view, when I look from my window... Oh, that's a much better size. That looks great. That would go really well with the EZ-Fits. So... Oh, buttoning it up. That's even better. Yeah, roll 'em right up. It's liberating, isn't it? I bought a toothbrush, some toothpaste A flannel for my face Pajamas, a hairbrush new shoes, and a case I said to my reflection Let's get out of this place Past the church and the steeple The laundry on the hill Murder, there's one committed each 7 seconds. Hello. I got cut off. I'm sorry. Tempted by the fruit of another Waa waa Hello? What? 你好？什么？ Tempted, but the truth is discovered No, no, no. 不不不 Listen, he needs us, OK? 聽著，他需要我們，OK？ If he makes videos, we show them, OK? 他制作片子，我們放映片子，好嗎？ It's symbiotic. It's like a "chicken or the egg?" 大家是共生的關系，就像“雞和雞蛋” It's both of them working together. 他們兩方要一起合作 Yeah, uh-huh. Well, let me tell you something. 好，我跟你說 No, no, no. 不不不 I'm not scared of... 我不是害怕…… Jesus! 天哪！ Aah! MAN ON TELEPHONE: Michael, don't laugh at me. Michael，不要取笑我 What? 什么？ No, I'm in an accident. 不，我遇到意外了 I got in an accident. 我出車禍了 Yeah, I'm fine. 不，我沒事 No. I'll call you back, all right? 不，我待會打給你，好嗎 I'm gonna call you... 我會打給你 When you said you would sue... 你剛說你會起訴…… Well, it's not really my idea. 那不是我的主意 It's just I got my lawyer guy telling me, you know... 只是我的律師跟我說的 something, like, about my rates or... 這跟納稅有關 Right. You mean, like sue in a courtroom for money? 對。你是說，要上法庭去起訴索償？ I don't even know... 我也不知道 because I've never really done anything like this before. 我也沒遇過這種事情 I mean, do you have a lawyer or something? 你有沒有律師嗎？ No, I don't have a lawyer. 不，我沒有律師 I don't have a dentist. 我連牙醫都沒有 I'm... You know, I make four-hundred dollars a week. 我，我每周的周薪只有400塊 What do you do? 你是做什么的？ Well, at the moment, I'm working... 現在，我在做…… I'm sorry. 抱歉 I just... I got to...Hello. 我要……你好 Yeah. What is it? 是的，什么事？ You know, I don't care... 你知道，我不在乎…… if she does twelve books of herself naked, OK? 她出了12本裸體寫真集，好嗎？ It doesn't... 不是…… That's Dr. Zaius 那是Zaius博士，《人猿星球》里面的 from "Planet of the Apes. " Oh. 哦 I'm sorry. No. 抱歉，不 Someone else is in here. 有人在這兒 Yeah? Well, let her say that to me. 是嗎？那好，讓她自己來跟我說 -No, don't do that. 不，別那樣 -Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 噢，抱歉，抱歉 No, no. You can... 不不，你可以…… That's all right... 沒關系 I was... Go ahead. 我只是……沒事 You want to touch it? 你想碰他嗎？ It's all right. 沒事 Yeah. No, go ahead. 是，不，請便 No, I was talking to... 不，我是在跟她說…… Look, can I talk to you later? 這樣，我待會打給你好嗎？ Can we... When? OK. OK. 我們能否……幾時？好，好 Um... OK. Um... uh... You know what? 這樣吧 Just forget it. 忘了這件事 Really, just forget the whole thing... 這件事就一筆勾銷吧 because it was probably my fault anyway. 因為這件事很可能會判是我的錯 And I'll get in trouble,and it just doesn't... 然后我會惹上麻煩…… And you seem very sweet. 你長得也很甜美 And you seem to like Dr. Zaius. 你貌似也很喜歡Zaius博士 Oh. Ha ha. -Oh, no. -That's... I'm sorry. 抱歉 That's... He was just a collector's... No big... 他，他只是一個收藏家的……沒關…… Well, we can... -You know what? 這樣吧 -No, here's his head. 不，這是他的頭 It's really... you know...I think he's gone. 我想他已經不行了…… I'm, like, ruining your whole life here. 我，我好像毀掉了你的生活 No, no, you're not. Really. 不不，你沒有，真的 Just don't... Just don't touch anything else...and I think we'll be fine. 只是，不要再碰其他東西就好…… Michael Grates, vice president regional programming..."In Your Face" TV. Michael Grates，區域制片，副總裁，"In Your Face" 電視臺 We've seen it. 我們看過 It's like MTV, but with an edge. 跟MTV差不多，但更犀利一點 -Yeah. So, is it a date? 所以，是約會嗎？ -Yeah, yeah. 是，是 -Dinner? 晚餐？ -Coffee. 咖啡 -Coffee or cappuccino? 咖啡還是卡布奇諾？ -He ended up saying decaf. 他說的是脫因咖啡 Oh, no. Early night. 噢不，傍晚 Is there any precoffee activity? 有什么喝咖啡前可以做的活動嗎？ Um... I don't think so. 我不知道 Did he ask you to go out or to hang out? 他約你時說的是“出來玩一下”還是“出來見一下” Go out.He definitely said go out. 出來玩。他肯定說的是這個詞 Hey. How are you doing? 嗨，你怎樣了？ -Oh, shit. 我擦 -What? I forgot to tell you something. 我忘了跟你說了 Are you out of your mind? 你瘋了嗎 Oh, my god. Lainie, he just got fired from the newsstand. 天哪，Lainie，他剛剛才被報攤炒魷魚了 He needs a place to stay till he can find a new job...and get his own place. 他需要一個地方落腳，直到他找到新工作，還有新的住處 Vickie, that's the American dream of the nineties. Vckie，這是90年代的美國夢 That could take years. 要等好多年才能實現 Look at it like a built-in security system. 把他當成是內嵌的安保系統 We'll have a man around the house. 房子里有個男人挺好的 We'll have a hall monitor. 我們會多了一個廳長 That's what we'll have. 我們只會有廳長 I don't even know if this is allowed in the building. 我甚至不知道在這棟樓里是否被允許這樣做 It's not like Mr. Roper's gonna burst in. 房東太太又不會跑來看 I'll just stay on the couch. 我睡在沙發上就行 Vickie,he will turn this place...into a den of slack. Vickie，他會把房子弄得烏煙瘴氣的 What the hell is your problem? 你到底是有什么問題？ I have to work around here, 我要工作 and unfortunately, Troy... 而你呢 you are a master at the art of time suckage. 你是浪費時間的大師 Oh, well, I'm sorry, miss poster girl for the workers party... 噢，好，抱歉，勞動黨的封面女郎 but until I get that toehold in the burger industry... 在我在漢堡業界站穩腳之前 I got a little time to suck. 我還有一點時間可以浪費 I'd rather check into a shelter than deal with her shit. 我寧愿去收容所都好過跟她共處 I know how much you love to mainline in misery here. 我知道你就是喜歡自我沉溺在痛苦中 But you don't have to. 但你不需要這樣 I can get you a job interview at my dad's plant. 我可以幫你聯系去我爸爸的工廠去面試 What is that? 那是什么？ Part of my lease agreement? 我住在這里的租約的一個條款？ It's either that or a credit check. 你也可以說是一個信用檢查 It's cool, Troy. 太好了，Troy You can stay. 你可以住在這里啦 Welcome to the maxi pad. 衛生巾歡迎你 Yeah, with the new dry-weave... 對呀，還有最新的干織技術…… it actually pulls moisture away from you. It's good. 它真的能幫你把濕氣吸走，挺好的 You won't even know I'm here. 你不會察覺到我在這里 Should I get married? 我要不要結婚？ Should I be good? 我要不要當好人？ Should I astound the girl next door with my velvet suit and my Faustus hood? 我要不要穿上天鵝絨西裝和浮士德頭罩去嚇唬鄰居的女孩？ And not take her to movies but to cemeteries and tell her of werewolf tongues and forked clarinets? 帶她去墓地而不是去影院，和她說起狼人傳說和開叉單簧管？ What "Hey, That's My Bike"... would like to do eventually. as a band... is travel the countryside like Woody Guthrie. Or Richard Simmons. You know how, in his commercials... how he travels around, surprises people jogging. As you can see, I have the occasional run-in... with an anti- "Hey, That's My Biker. " And to those people, I say nobody... Nobody can eat fifty eggs. -Lainie? -Whatie? 啥？ The next time you make microwave brownies... 下次你再做微波爐布朗尼時 I'd really consider using a microwave. 我有認真在考慮用微波爐 It's just a thought. 只是一個想法 You know, 你知道嗎 I finally figured out...what your problem is, Dyer. 我終于發現你的問題所在了，Dyer What's that? 是什么？ I'm not a Pepper? 我不是Pepper？ You suffer from the philosopher groupie syndrome. 你患了哲學家狂熱綜合征 You're this guy with, like, a 180 I.Q... 你這人，有180的IQ ten units away from a degree in philosophy... 只差一點就能拿到哲學學位 and you always fall for these dumb groupie types. 但你老是迷戀那些無知的骨肉皮小妞 Now... they are not all dumb. 她們并不都是無知 Most of them are just very, very depressed. 她們中的大多數只是非常、非常沮喪 Do you find me attractive, 你覺得我有吸引力嗎 sitting here, eating brownies? 坐著這里，吃著布朗尼 You do. You're strangely attracted to me right now. 我現在覺得你有一種奇怪的吸引力 You're oddly, oddly attracted to me. 一種很奇怪、很奇妙的吸引力 It turns you on, doesn't it? 你現在性奮了？ You like to watch, don't you? 你喜歡觀察，是不是？ Come on. 別這樣 Come on! Aah! 別這樣啊 Here. Ha ha ha! 過來，哈哈 Don't! Come on. 不，別這樣 It's not funny. Give it back. 一點都不好玩，還我 -Give what back? 還什么？ -Give it back! 還給我！ Give what back? 還什么？ Give the brownies back? 還你布朗尼？ -Aah! 啊 -Brownies, brownies. 布朗尼，布朗尼 Oh, I love brownies. 噢，我愛布朗尼 My name's Lelaina. 我的名字叫Lelaina Hey, don't! 別！ Hey, watch the camera. 來，看著攝像機 Don't throw it at me. 別對著我 That's not nice. 這樣不好 Mr. Gubler, do you have time to take a look...at what I've done here? Gubler先生，你有沒有時間可以看看我的作品？ I need my questions. 我要我的問題卡 Oh, well, here's the research that I did. 噢，好，這些是我搜集的資料 You might want to read it...because this guest has quite a history in politics. 你要不看一下……因為這位嘉賓在政治上很有聲望 Just give me my questions. 給我問題卡 Excusez-moi. 抱歉 -You all alone? 你獨自一人？ -Not anymore. 再也不是了 If I could bottle the sexual tension... 如果我能將Bonnie Franklin和Schneider之間的性張力 between Bonnie Franklin and Schneider... 收到一個瓶子里 I could solve the energy crisis. 我就能解決能源危機 Excuse me. 抱歉 Don't bogart that can... man. 這名男子，請別那么粗暴對待那只罐子 -Are you retarded? 你是弱智嗎？ -No. I'm rhyming. 不，我只是為了押韻 It's not easy. 不容易 Sure, I make it look easy. 好吧，我能讓它看著很容易 You guys better not be inhaling. 你們這些家伙最好別 Hi. Lelaina, Vickie was just promoted to manager of the Gap. Lelaina，Vickie被提升為Gap的經理了 -Shut up. 閉嘴 -It's not even a big deal. 這沒啥了不起的 The old manager tried to kill herself...by eating a whole pot of poinsettias. 原來的經理自殺了……通過吃一整盆圣誕花 Still, I'm so proud of you. 我還是很為你自豪 Wait. 等等 I'll be making four-hundred dollars a week, though. 以后我的周薪會漲到400塊 We're never gonna have rent problems again. 我們再也不用為房租發愁了 Troy, aren't you excited? Troy，你不興奮嗎？ I'm bursting with fruit flavor. 我興奮得都爆發出水果味了 You guys, I just thought of something. 伙伴們，我突然想起一件事 I'm manager of the Gap. 我是Gap的經理 I'm responsible for all those t-shirts... 我要為所有T恤負責任 French-cut, v-necked, ribbed, what have you. 法式剪裁、V領、羅紋、諸如此類 Dude, I'm in trouble. 伙伴們，我麻煩大了 No, you're not, Vick. 不，你不會，Vick I know you can do it. 我知道你可以的 I just do not understand why this moment...has to be Memorexed. 我只是不明白為啥要拍下這一刻 Sammy, don't you realize? Sammy，你沒發現嗎？ This is your one opportunity to play a small part... 這是你唯一的機會 in what is destined to be greatness. 能在這個注定成為巨作的作品中扮演一個小角色 Lainie here is gonna revolutionize... Lainie將會變革 "Good Morning, Grant. " “早安，格蘭特” Oh, my god! I'm so sorry! 我的天！我真是有眼不識泰山 I had no idea! 我沒想到這一點 Look who's mocking. 看誰有資格嘲弄別人 All you do around here, Troy...is eat and couch Troy你在這里，每天做的就是吃、睡、 and fondle the remote control. 以及摸著遙控器舍不得放下 I am not under any orders to make the world a better place. 沒有任何命令要我去改善這個世界 Well, then what good are you? 好呀，那你有什么用？ You're a pathological optimist. 你是一個病態的樂觀主義者 You're pathological. 你有病 Oh, would you two just do it and get it over with? 噢，你倆能不能趕緊搞在一起？ I'm starving. 我餓死了 Oh! Hello. You've reached the winter of our discontent. 你好，你現在撥進了我們極度不滿的時刻 Uh... hold on. 嗯，等一下 It's some Michael character. 有個叫Michael的人 Oh. -Who's Michael? 誰是Michael？ -Let's order a pizza. 我們叫比薩吧 Lelaina, if we promise to pay you back... Lelaina，如果我們保證一定會還你錢 will you spot us a pizza? 你能不能給我們買個比薩？ Don't have any cash. 我沒現金 Dominoes takes checks. Dominoes可以接受支票 OK, great. 好呀 OK. Bye. 再見 The owner of Dominoes supports Operation Rescue. Dominoes的店主捐助了拯救會 Oh, please. No one gives a shit right now. 現在沒人關心這個事情 We're starving. 我們餓瘋了 Oh, wait. Wait. 等一下 -Ta-da! -We're going to eat gas. 我們要喝汽油了 Ah! Who's this Michael guy? 那個叫Michael的家伙是誰？ Um... Hey. Vickie just figured something out. Vickie剛剛有個發現 -What? 什么？ -Something wonderful. 一個奇妙的發現 Ha ha ha! Evian is na?ve spelled backwards. 哈哈哈，“依云”（Evian）倒過來拼寫是“天真”（naive） Uh! Could you turn this up, please? 你能把音量調高點嗎？ Please? 拜托了 You won't be sorry. 你不會后悔的 Thank you. 感謝 RADIO:... When you gonna give me some time, Sharona? Ooh, you make my motor run, my motor run Gun it comin' off of the line, Sharona Never gonna stop, give it up, such a dirty mind Always get it up for the touch of the younger kind My, my, my, i, yi, woo! Hey! M-m-my Sharona. Come a little closer, huh? Ah, will ya, huh? Close enough to look in my eyes, Sharona Keeping it a mystery, it gets to me Running down the length of my thighs, Sharona... Good times, any time you need them, baby Good times, ain't no time to be afraid Thelma's husband Keith has got vodka hidden in the toilet. Vodka in the toilet. That's a good one. Um... boom boom. James Dice. That's a two-parter, man. You can't do that. J.J. works in the chicken shop. He works in a chicken shop. We did that. It's the same one when he has that cape on. Drink up, man. You hate to see that happen to the rookie. Um... Alderman Davis judges a... Oh, my god. 天哪 Hi. 嗨 Are you a collection agent? 你是賣保險的嗎？ Lelaina! Lelaina！ Oh! Yeah, I'll be right there. 好，我來啦 Oh. If you ain't the most hardheaded woman... 如果你不是最精明的女人…… Great! 棒！ Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. 快點，快點，快點 Oh, it's me! 是我！ Willona dates a deaf guy. Willona跟一個聾子約會 -Good one. 厲害 -Willona dates a deaf guy. Willona跟一個聾子約會 How about the one when Gary Coleman comes on... Gary Coleman演過的那個 and he's like the little...like, guy doing that... 他就像那個…… -Yeah, we did that one. 對，我們做過一次 -He was cute, though. 他還挺可愛的 -J.J.'s prom date. J.J.的畢業舞會約會 -Gotta go. Gotta go. 要走了，要走了 -Hey. Hi. Hello. Hi. -Hi. Um... everybody, this is Michael. 大家，這是Michael This is... 這是…… Prom date. Prom date. Go. 畢業舞會約會，走 You know, we should.. 我們應該…… We should... Yeah. 是，我們應該…… So, I'm gonna go. 我走啦 Bye. 再見 Michael throws a party. Michael辦了個排隊 Sammy, let's go. Sammy，走吧 Lelaina, you know the punishment for premature evacuation. Lelaina，你知道提前撤退的懲罰 Penny! Willona adopts Penny! Penny！Willona收養了Penny！ Shit! I'm making this documentary...about my friends, 我在拍一部關于我的朋友們的紀錄片 but it's really about...people who are trying to find their own identity... 但它其實是關于那些正在尋找自己的身份認同的人 without having any real role models or heroes or anything. 他們沒有模范或英雄可以看齊 Wow. That...That sounds great. 哇，聽起來很棒 It seems like your friends would be perfect for that. 你的朋友們應該很適合這個題材 Like, um... 就像 Like that guy Troy... 比如那個叫Troy的家伙 -Troy, yeah. 他是的 -You all done here, sir? 先生，您還吃嗎？ Uh, yeah. yeah. 對 You don't want to finish that? 你不吃完嗎？ Because I can.. 因為我可以……. No, no, no. I'm fine. 不不不，我夠了 I had a late... 我下午吃了…… So, Troy is... 所以，Troy是…… You guys just... 你們是…… It's like you guys living there, 你們一起住嗎 just the two of you? 只有你們倆？ No, no, no, no, no. 不不不不 It's me and Vickie, 只有我跟Vickie but he got fired from his job... 但他被解雇了 and so he needed a place to crash for a couple weeks. 所以這幾周他需要一個地方來過度一下 They caught him stealing a Snickers. 他被抓包偷了一條士力架 He stole a Snickers bar? 他偷了一條士力架？ Yeah. Ha ha ha! 對，哈哈哈 Somehow he can rationalize it... 但不知怎地，他能將之合理化 like the establishment owes him a Snickers. 說的好像公司欠他一條士力架 Right, right. 對，對 Well, I mean... 我的意思是…… I guess... you know... 我猜…… You know, you're very beautiful. 你知道嗎，你非常美麗 I mean... I mean, um... 我的意思是…… Seriously, you're.. 真的，你真的很美麗. I'm, uh... I'm, uh... not really good with compliments. 我……嗯……我不是很會處理贊美 Um... but, uh... Um... Ha ha! Are you religious? 你信教嗎？ Um... Ha ha ha! 哈哈哈 Ha ha ha! 哈哈哈 I'm sorry. 抱歉 I guess I'm... 我覺得我是…… I guess I'm, uh...a non-practicing Jew. 我是一個不太虔誠的猶太人 Hey, I'm a non-practicing virgin. 嘿，我是一個不太虔誠的處女 Who's this again? 這是誰？ Frampton. Peter Frampton. Peter Frampton Frampton... I can't believe you don't remember... 我不敢相信你居然不記得 "Frampton Comes Alive. " “Frampton Come Alive” That album, like,totally changed my life. 這張專輯簡直改變了我的人生 The most profound, important invention of my lifetime... 我生命中最偉大、最重要的發明 the Big Gulp. 特大杯可樂 And because, see... 因為，看…… No, listen. 不，聽著 You get one in the morning. 你早上喝一杯 I'm talking forty-four ouncer, 我說的是44盎司 not this thirty-two wimpy... 不是這杯只有32…… -Wait a minute. Forty four? 等一下，42？ -Yeah. Forty-four ounce. 對，42盎司 How can you ingest forty-four ounces of anything? 你怎么可能喝得下42盎司的東西？ How can you ingest forty-four ounces of anything? 你怎么可能喝得下42盎司的東西？ You get one. 你喝一杯 You have your essential vitamins and nutrients...for the entire day. 就能擁有一整天的必需的維他命和營養 Oh, yeah. Definitely. 是的，絕對 I'm sure you're totally covered. 我肯定你絕對可以 -You do. 你可以 -Well...I guess it really doesn't take much to make me happy. 我覺得，我很容易就能夠感到幸福 Hey, I'm not materialistic, either. 喂，我也不是拜金主義的 I mean, I think I'd be working even if I wasn't getting paid. 我是說，我覺得就算沒有薪水我也會繼續工作 And I don't, like, want to get, 我也不是 you know... a big house. 想要一間大房子 I just want, like, a nice house. 我只想要一間溫馨的房子 I'm not into cars and stuff. 我并不迷戀車子之類的 I mean, I like my car. 我喜歡我的車 You're probably not really not into, like... 你大概并不迷戀 expensive, snazzy Italian suits, either. 昂貴的、華麗麗的意大利套裝 -Oh, come on. 別這樣 -I'm just kidding. 我只是開玩笑 -No, no, no. 不不不 -I'm just kidding. 我只是開玩笑 Wait a minute. 等一下 I'm not like that. 我不是那樣的 I'm really not. 真的不是 I mean... I mean... I'm... I'm... I mean... 我的意思是…… I know why the caged bird sings and everything. 我知道為啥籠中鳥會唱歌之類的東西 Oh, yeah? Why? 是嗎?為啥？ Because he was... in a cage, 因為，它……在一個籠子里 and he was... I don't know. 我不知道 He had high hopes or something. 它有很遠大的愿望之類的 OK, I dropped out of school...before we got to that,all right? 好吧，在我還沒學到這個知識前我就輟學了 I should have stayed in college...and got a degree in astronomy or something. 我當初應該留在大學里拿個學位，在天文學之類的 -Oh, god, I love astronomy. 天哪，我愛天文學 -Really? 真的嗎？ Yeah. I just...The math, though. 是呀，不過我的數學…… It was the math that just, like... got me every time. 我的數學學不好 I loved astronomy, too, 我也很喜歡天文學 and I got into class... 我去上了課 and it was like...it was like... everything was three-squared times pi equals the root of pi. 所有的東西都好像是三次方乘以π等于π的方根 Yeah. And I just wanted to look at the stars. 是呀，但我只想看看星星 -It was so... -Same here exactly. 我也是 I remember being so happy on the roof of our old house... 我記得，在我家的老房子的屋頂 just staring up at the stars. 看著星星就非常快樂 Mmm... I want to do that again. 好想再像當時一樣 I want to just...look up at the stars 我只想抬頭看看星星 and take the time to...smell the...everything. 聞一聞…… Because it's like... do you ever have those moments in life... 因為那就像……你是否有過那樣的時刻 where everything is OK? 覺得所有事情都很好？ Do you know what I mean? 你懂我的意思嗎？ Just for, like, one moment,everything is great. 所有事情都很好的一個瞬間 Not since I graduated, no. 不，畢業之后都沒有過了 But yeah... yeah. When you, like, catch yourself in a moment... 當你發現自己處于那樣的時刻 and you're saying, wait, I'm happy here in the moment. 你會發現，咦，我這一刻很快樂 Right. And then it just goes away really quickly. 對，然后這一刻就會很快消失 -Gone. 不見了 -It just... It's... I know I've had a couple of those, you know. 我知道我有過不少那樣的瞬間 I always forget them, 我總是會記不得 but I know I've had them. 但我知道我擁有過 Oh, me, too. 噢，我也是 Like right now... is one. 像現在 Yeah... like now. 是的，像現在 SINGING: Clouds are stalking Islands in the sun Wish I could dry one Out of season But don't Hesitate 'Cause your love Won't wait Hey, hey, hey Ooh, baby, I love your way Every day Want to tell you I love your way Ooh, ooh, ooh TROY, Ooh, baby, I love your way Every day I want to be with you night and day Shh! So, you've been up all night? 所以你一整晚都沒睡嗎？ I am picking up some very strange vibes in here. 我在這里感受到一些非常奇怪的氣氛 They're of the..."I just got laid" variety. 這感覺就像是……“我剛和人睡了”的氣氛 Did he dazzle you...with his extensive knowledge of mineral water? 他是不是用他豐富的礦泉水知識令你傾倒 Or was it his in-depth analysis of Markie Mark...that finally reeled you in? 或者是他對Markie Mark的深度分析把你繞進去了？ I just would have liked to have been there... 我真希望能夠在場 to watch how you rationalized... 看看你怎樣為自己找到合理的借口 跟一個蹩腳的雅痞第一次約會就搞在一起了 sleeping with a yuppy-head cheeseball on the first date. He's not a yuppy. 他不是雅痞 He's the reason why Cliff Notes were invented. 他就是那些經典文摘的買單者 Well, that pales in comparison...to the tweaked-out little skanks you date. 那也總比你約會的那些惡心的火柴妞要好得多 To hell with it. 見鬼去吧 What do I care? 我在乎什么？ What do you care? 你在乎什么？ And why are you acting...like a jealous boyfriend all of a sudden? 你為啥突然像個好妒的男朋友在發作？ I am not acting like anything. 我沒有在發作 I am calmly reading. 我在很冷靜地閱讀 God. If something's bothering you that much... 如果有什么事情讓你這么困擾 I wish you could just be man enough to talk to me about it. 我希望你能像個男人一樣跟我說說 All right, Lelaina. 好吧，Lelaina I am really in love with you. 我愛上你了 Is that what you want to hear? 這是你想聽到的嗎？ Is it? 是嗎？ Well, don't flatter yourself. 別自作多情了 Go to hell. 去死吧 Since I've been manager here... 自從我當上了經理 our gross has increased over twenty percent. 這里的總收入提升了超過20% So... 所以…… What? 什么？ OK. OK. Um... 好啦 I guess I'm proud of that. 我覺得我為此感到自豪 Oh, please. 別這樣 Look at this sweater. 看看這件毛衣 People don't know. 人們不知道 They don't know what it takes. 人們不知道折成這樣需要多少工夫 I've never been a good example before... 我以前從來都折不好 and, um... I've never been good with responsibility. 我也從來都不能承擔責任 So, uh... I blame my parents, though. 但我責怪我父母 I think I was conceived on an acid trip. 我想我爸媽是磕了藥后亂搞懷上我的 My parents got divorced when I was 5 years old. 他們在我5歲時就離婚了 And I saw my father about three times a year after that. 自那以后我每三年才見到我父親一次 And when he found out that he had cancer... 當他發現自己得了癌癥之后 he decided to bring me here.. 他帶我來到這里. and he gives me this big pink sea shell... 給了我這個巨大的粉紅色貝殼 and he says to me... 他跟我說 "Son, the answers are all inside of this. " 所有的答案都在這里面 And I'm all, like, "What?" 我就懵逼了 But then I realized that the shell was empty. 但后來我發現這個貝殼是空的 There's no point to any of this. 什么意義都沒有 It's all just a...A random lottery of meaningless tragedy... 生命只是一次隨機抽簽 and a series of near escapes. 它由一次毫無意義的悲劇的以及一系列的幸免于難組成 So I take pleasure in the details, you know. 所以我從瑣事中得到快感 A Quarter-Pounder with cheese. 一塊四分一磅的芝士 Those are good. 很好 The sky about... ten minutes before it starts to rain. 下雨前10分鐘的天空 The moment where your laughter becomes a cackle. 笑聲變成咯咯尖笑的瞬間 And I sit back, and I...I smoke my Camel straights. 我坐下，抽一根駱駝煙 And I ride my own melt. 我自由自在 Come on. Come on. 來吧，來吧 No lagging. 別落下了 The free clinic A.I.D.S. test. 免費的艾滋病測試 The rite of passage for our generation. 我們這一代人的重要儀式 We're so lucky. 我們真幸運 Come on. So, Vick, why are you getting tested? Vick，你為啥要來做測試？ One of my friends tested positive. 我的一個朋友被測出陽性 To be on the safe side...you know. 安全起見 Vickie Miner. WOMAN, LOUDER: Vickie Miner. You can forget it. 你能忘了它 Come on, Grant. 別這樣，Grant That... It's incredible. 真了不起 It's junk. 垃圾 Depressing junk. 不知所謂的垃圾 You know my rules for the "Video View"... 你知道我對“Video View”節目的規矩 light and perky. 輕快和活潑 Look, Lelaina, maybe I should talk to Grant alone about this. 看，Lelaina，也許我應該單獨跟Grant溝通一下這事兒 Look, she's got real talent... 她真的很有才華 and I want to put her on staff. 我想給她轉正 I will not have Miss Pierce on staff. 我不會讓她轉為正式員工 I will walk out of here if that happens. 如果她轉正，我馬上就離開這里 You watch. 試試看 OK, calm down. 好，冷靜一下 It's no big deal. 不要緊 We don't have to have her. 我們不是一定要有她 Besides, 還有 having to look...at that girl's pointy little face all day... 整天看著那女孩的小尖臉 it would make me ill. 真讓我受不了 Just get rid of her...like I asked you to do in the first place. 讓她走，就像我一開始跟你說的一樣 ...I'll get there. 我會的 If I don't know where to go, I'll get there. 如果我不知道去哪兒，我回去那兒 If I don't know... 如果我不知道…… Ten seconds... 10秒 nine, eight, seven... six, five, four... 九，八，七，六，五，四…… Is this a good morning or what? 真是個愉快的早上 Ha ha ha! Well, with us today is Libby Kumbaugh... 哈哈哈！今天來到這里的是Libby Kumbaugh the author of this book..."Mommy, Why Do I Hate Myself? "Self-Esteem for Parent and Child. " 她是《媽媽，我為什么討厭自己？父母和孩子的自尊》的作者 -Good morning, Libby. 早上好，Libby -Good morning, Grant. 早上好，Grant Good morning! Now, Libby... 早上好！Libby I'm concerned with self-esteem. 我很擔心自尊 Personally, I've always had an odd preference...for very, very young girls. 就我個人而言，我總對那些特別年輕的女孩有種奇怪的偏好 I... 我 Being a total prick... 身為一個賤人…… ...Iy pear, I... Why don't we welcome this audience again, huh? 我們再一次歡迎今天的來賓？ Good morning! 早安！ I make more of a mess than Ruby does. 我比Ruby惹的鍋更大 Hi. You guys, we have to have a family meeting. 大伙兒，我們來開個家庭會議吧 Something's happened. 有事發生 Oh, no! They've discovered Nutrasweet causes you...to grow a third eye. 噢不！他們剛發現了阿斯巴甜能讓你長出第三只眼 Let me just say that everything's gonna be fine. 所有事情都會好的 Yeah, it's not a big deal. 沒那么大件事 She'll just wear a patch over it. 她可以戴個眼罩遮住它 I'm working out a plan. 我在制定一個計劃 Yeah, there's a surgeon in Paris. 巴黎有一個外科醫生 He'll just remove it for free. 他能免費幫忙割除 -Just don't panic. 別慌張 -It's not contagious. 不會傳染的 Would you shut up? 你能閉嘴嗎？ I just got fired. 我剛被炒魷魚了 Yeah. Oh, my god. 我的天哪 What happened? 發生什么事？ You got fired? 你被炒了？ I mean, that just screws up my whole idea of good and evil. 這件事徹底摧毀了我對善與惡的判斷 It's not like I had a hysterectomy or anything. 這不是我做了子宮切除手術之類的 I just... I got fired. I'll find something else, you know. 我只是被炒了。我會找到其他工作的 Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! You're hired. 你被聘用了！ I need a part-timer. 我需要一個兼職 You need a job. 你需要一份工作 That would be so cool. 真是太好了 It's only, like, five dollars an hour. No big deal. 雖然只有5塊錢的時薪，不多 But it's a pretty good opportunity. 但這是一次很好的機會 Yeah, it's a dream come true. 對啊，是夢想成真的機會 It is. 是的 You know, Vick, I said I'm working out a plan. Vick，我說我在制定一個計劃 Yeah. 是的 So, what's the plan? 所以這個計劃是什么？ I'm not gonna work at the Gap, for Christ's sake. OK? 天哪，我不要在Gap工作，好嗎？ -No. I mean... 不，我的意思是…… -Oh, no. I'm so sorry. 噢，我很抱歉 Oh, how stupid of me to try to drag you down to my level. 我真愚蠢，怎么能把你拉低到我的層次 -Vickie, you don't do this, OK? Vick，你不能這樣說話，好嗎？ -Shut up. 閉嘴 Come on. This is just... 別這樣 You know I didn't mean it. 你知道我不是那個意思 Vickie. You see, this is where Troy was fired... 你看，這里就是Troy第11次被解雇的地方 from his eleventh job. He was an illustrious office cleaner. 他是一名卓越的辦公室清潔工 Now if you'll come this way, please... 如果你走這里 we will continue our short but happy walking tour...of the career of Troy Dyer. 我們將繼續回顧Troy Dyer短暫而快樂的職業生涯 And here we have the newsstand... 我們來到的這個報攤 where Troy dared to ask the question... 在這里Troy勇敢地提出一個問題 Are employee snacks subsidized? 會不會提供雇員的零食？ The answer... tragically, no. 很不幸地，答案是不 In total, he has been fired...from... yes, count them...twelve jobs. 他總共被炒了12次魷魚 Twelve? Ouch. 12次？哇 So you shouldn't feel so bad. 所以你不需要感到糟糕 One of these mornings, I'm going to wake up before noon and... 未來的某一天，我在中午前睡醒過來 Ha ha. Yeah, right. 哈哈，對 And I'm gonna turn on the TV... 我打開電視 and there Bryant Gumbel will be, and he'll say... 看到Bryant Gumbel主播說 "Today we have with us... 今天我們請來 "the Pulitzer Prize winning 普利策獎紀錄片得主Lelaina Pierce documentarian Lelaina Pierce. "Lelaina, after your first film, Lelaina，在你的第一部片子“為什么芭比很壞”之后 Why Barbie Is Bad... " "You seem to have forgotten all about..."your best friend, Troy Dyer. " 你似乎已經遺忘了你最好的朋友，Troy Dyer Troy who? 誰？ What was that name again? 名字是什么？ Oh, right through the heart. 噢，想起來了 I'll probably be working at the Whole Foods... 我可能會在Whole Foods超市工作 playing warehouses... 在倉庫里無所事事 hanging around places like the Radio Shack... 在無線電公司附近隨處游蕩 screaming that I used to know you... 尖叫著我以前認識你 and you'll be there in the lights... 而你會坐在聚光燈下 and you'll be all beautiful and shit. 看起來那么美麗 Oh, Troy. No, no, no. Troy，不不不 That'll never happen. 這永遠不會發生 They would never hire you at Whole Foods. Whole Foods根本不會雇用你 You see, Lainie, 你看，Lainie this is all we need... 這就是我們需要的 a couple of smokes, 抽幾根煙 a cup of coffee... 喝杯咖啡 And a little bit of conversation. 閑聊幾句 You and me and five bucks. 你，我，不需要太多的錢 You got it. 對呀 -You know what? 你知道嗎？ -Hmm? -No, no, no. 不不不 -What? Troy, I can't. I can't. Troy，我不能那樣做 Why not? 為什么不行？ You never thought about it? 你從來沒想過這樣嗎？ Well, yes, of course I have, but I... 我當然有想過，但我…… But what? 但是什么？ I can't not be friends with you, OK? 我不想失去你這個朋友，好嗎？ I don't want that. That's not what I'm talking about. 我不想那樣，這不是我說的意思 I'm talking about a... 我的意思是…… you know, evolving. 進一步發展 I just can't handle this right now. 我現在沒法處理這件事 I can't evolve right now. 我現在沒法和你進一步發展 Why not? 為什么不？ Because of Michael? 因為Michael？ No. Yeah. Yes. Yes. 不，對對對 My parents got divorced when I was fourteen. 我爸媽在我14歲時就離婚了 My dad... the dog...he remarried six months after the divorce. 我爸6個月后就又重新結婚了 Wow. That's quick. 哇，閃婚 How did everybody react? 其他人有什么反應？ Um... my mom threatened to kill herself in front of me. 我媽威脅說要在我面前自殺 Patty got drunk in her closet...every morning before junior high school. 初中以前的每個早上，Patty都醉倒在衣櫥里 And you? 你呢？ Well, um... Somebody had to remember to take out the trash... 總得有人記得去扔垃圾 sign the report cards, buy the milk. 簽名成績單、買牛奶 So, um... that kind of ended up being me. 所以，這就是我 I don't want to get married... 我不想結婚 because I see how my parents are. 因為我看到我父母的婚姻 And they've been together, like, 26 years... 他們在一起26年了 and they're like brother and sister at this point. 現在他們的關系更像是兄妹 My mother goes to the bathroom with the door open. 我媽去洗手間時不關門 That's "A." 這是第一點 And "B"... It's disgusting. 第二點，那太惡心了 I don't want any part of that. 我不想那樣 I want first kisses. 我要親吻 I want passion... 我要激情 the whole way through. 自始至終都要 It's better than having to kiss your husband's ass all the time. 總比一直給你老公拍馬屁要好 Yeah. 對 I think that your documentary...would be perfect for "In Your Face. " 我覺得你的紀錄片很適合“In Your Face”頻道 -See? Forget it. 忘了吧 -No. 不 You're probably thinking more like, you know... 你可能更想要 P B.S. or something. 比如說公共電視臺之類的 No. No. You know 不不 what it is, though? 為什么呢？ It's that I.. Boy. 因為我…… OK, when I made this thing... 好吧，當我一開始拍這個片子時 I kind of made this promise to myself... 我對自己許了個承諾 that I wasn't going to think about...where it was gonna end up 我不會計劃它能變成什么大作品 because I didn't want to...unintentionally commercialize it. 因為我不想無意間將它商業化了 No, I think that's great. 不，我覺得那很棒 I mean, I think you should definitely... not unintentionally do anything... 我的意思是，你覺得不應該無意地做任何事情…… that you're not comfortable with. 任何令你覺得不舒服的事情 I mean, not that I would intentionally... 我不是說我會無意間…… Well, plus， it's not done yet, you know. 再者，片子還沒完成呢 Right. I know. I know. 對，我知道 It was just a stupid... 只是我一個愚蠢的想法 You know... I got to go to New York on Wednesday... 你知道，我周三要去紐約 for this huge network meeting thing... 參加一個大型的電視網絡會議 which is totally... God, you would hate it. 天哪，你會討厭的 I hate it. I just... 我也討厭。但我只是 I just thought...that they would freak out over your tapes... 我只是覺得那些人會被你的片子震驚的 because they never see anything that's really smart... 因為他們從未看過這么聰明 and has real...you know, quality and is...good, like you and your work... 這么真實的、優秀的東西，就像你和你的作品 and I know I'm being selfish and... 我知道我有點自私 Michael, um... That is literally, literally... 這真的是 the nicest thing that anyone's ever said to me... 從沒有人對我說過這么美好、這么甜蜜的話 the sweetest thing that anyone's ever said to me. So, what are you doing for the rest of your morning? 今天早上你還要干什么？ What am... Oh, what am I doing? 我要干什么？ What am I doing? Ooh. Well, I have a job interview. 噢，我要去面試 Lelaina, this thing is from 1988. Lelaina，這東西是1988年的 I know. Ha ha ha! 我知道，哈哈哈 So you're, like...six years late. 所以你已經遲到了6年 I thought the ad said that this was a job...for a production assistant. 我記得廣告里說的這份工作是制作助理 Yes. You will be assisting me...in the production of videotapes, all right? 對，你會幫助我去制作錄像帶 You're going to make copies for me... many copies. 你要幫我做好多好多副本 Oh, is this like a...like a pirate operation? 這里做的是盜版嗎？ Do I look like a pirate to you? 我看起來像是一個海盜嗎？（英文海盜與盜版是同一個單詞） Now, radio is all instinct, Lelaina. Lelaina，現在的電臺已經全都消失了 Do you know where all the radio comes from? 你知道收音機來自哪里嗎？ The gut.It's all in the gut. 來自直覺，全都來自直覺 Because when you think on your feet... 因為當你站著思考時 got to go from your gut. 要順著直覺去走 And my gut is telling me 而我的直覺現在告訴我 that, uh...this isn't gonna work out. 你不太適合 Maybe your gut's just saying you're hungry or... 也許你的直覺正在告訴你餓了或者…… Oh, no, no, no, no. 噢不不不不 It's telling me that, uh...you're overqualified for this job. 直覺告訴我，你做這份工作是低就了 I'm really not that smart. 我真的沒有那么聰明 No offense, sweetie, 親愛的，沒有冒犯的意思 but you don't have...any experience on a newspaper. 但你完全沒有做報紙的經驗 You're TV. 你是電視人 Well, I'm trying to make my transition to print journalism. 我正嘗試要轉型到紙媒 Ah. Why? 為什么？ Well, newspapers are the last watchdogs...of our... our government. 紙媒是政府最后的監督者 They enforce the checks and balances. 保證三權分立 And one half-hour of TV only adds up to... 半小時的電視節目就能達到…… OK. All right. Define irony. 好了，解釋諷刺的定義 Irony. Uh...Irony. 諷刺，嗯，諷刺 It's a noun. 是一個名詞 It's when something is...ironic. It's, uh... 當一些事情是諷刺的…… Well, I can't really define irony... 好吧，我沒法說出諷刺的定義 but I know it when I see it! 但當我知道怎么使用這個詞 Hey. Hey. Oh, my god. 我的天哪 I've never been so glad...to see anyone in my entire life. 見到你真高興 This day has been the biggest nightmare. 今天真是一個巨大的噩夢 I mean, these job interviews, Troy... 這些工作面試 the word vivisection, a staggering understatement. 解剖每個詞的意思， Can you define irony? 你能說出諷刺的定義嗎？ It's when the actual meaning is the complete opposite...from the literal meaning. 諷刺就是當實際含義跟字面意思完全相反 Yeah. My god. 是啊，天哪 Where were you when I needed you today? 當我那么需要你時你在哪兒？ I... I should go. 我，我要走了 Oh, come on. Isn't there some statute of limitations for embarrassing incidents? 別這樣，尷尬事件總會過去嘛？ Your bravado was embarrassing. 你的逞能才令人尷尬。 Hey, Troy, come on. Troy別這樣。 You can stay with me for one cigarette. 留下來陪我一起抽根煙。 I know you can stay with me for one cigarette. 我知道你能留下來陪我抽根煙。 You, me, five bucks, good conversation. Right? 你，我，喝著five bucks，愉快的聊天，對不對？ Lainie... Troy, you haven't been home in four days. Troy，你已經四天沒回家了。 I mean, where have you been sleeping? 你都睡在哪里呢？ I got to go. 我要走了。 Mom, I need to talk to you about a loan. 媽，我想跟你借筆錢。 Is it for drugs? 你吸毒了？ No. No, it's not for drugs. 不，不，我沒吸毒。 I was f...I lost my job. 我只是失業了。 But you shouldn't have any trouble finding another job, sugar bugger. 但你去找份新工作應該完全沒問題呀，寶貝。 No. See, I tried. 不，我已經嘗試過了。 I applied for every single opening in my field but there's just... 我應聘過所有對口專業的職位，但…… There's nothing right now. 現在都沒成功。 Hmm. Well...then I hate to say it but times are hard. 我只能說，時勢艱難 You're just gonna have to swallow your pride. 你得收起你的驕傲。 Why don't you get a job at Burgerama? They'll hire you. 你為什么不去漢堡店呢？它家肯定會請你的。 My lord, I saw on the TV they had this little retarded boy working the cash register. 我在電視上看到他們甚至還請了個弱智的小男孩當收銀員呢。 Because I'm not retarded, mom. 媽，我不是弱智。 I was valedictorian of my university. 我是我們大學的優秀畢業生。 Well, you don't have to put that down on your application. 你不用寫在你的申請表上呀。 Miss Pierce, do you have any idea what it means to be a cashier at Wiener Schnitzel? Pierce小姐，你知道在“維也納炸牛排”店當收銀員要干什么嗎？ Yeah. It's, uh... taking orders and making change, and, uh "thank you. " 知道，就是，點菜、找錢，還有，說“謝謝” No. It's a juggling act. 不，你還得會變戲法。 A juggling act? You mean, like, metaphorically? 變戲法？你這是個比喻嗎？ No. I mean, you got people coming at you from the front， coming at you from the back, from the sides， people at the condiment exchange， people at the drive-thru, kids on bikes，and they're all depending on who? 不，我的意思是，你的前面有人、后面有人、邊上有人，調味料臺邊有人、汽車通道有人，還有騎單車的小孩。他們都要依靠誰？ -Me? 我？ -Yeah. You got time to lean, you got time to clean, buddy. All right? 沒錯。你要自己找時間去偷懶，還得找時間去清潔。 You got to be 150 percent on your toes 150 percent of the time. 你要在加倍的時間里加倍留神。 There you go, sir. 這邊請，先生。 And have a 'tude, wiener dude. All rightie. 好啦。 OK. I'm going to throw a few numbers out at you and you put them together in your head as quick as you can. OK，現在我說幾個數字，你要以最快速度加起來。 -OK? -OK. Eighty-five and forty-five. Go. 85加45是多少？ One... forty? 一百…四十？ Nope. 錯。 -One... fifty? 一百…五十？ -Nope. 錯。 -One-sixty? 一百六十？ -It's not an auction. 我們不是在拍賣。 Miss Pierce, there's a reason I've been here six months. Pierce小姐，我能在這里呆6個月是有原因的。 WEATHERMAN: For the entire summertime... occurring in one day. Then last night we had snow reports in Utah. Today reports of I-70... Royalton Hotel. Oh, hi. Is this the Royalton Hotel? That's what I said. Oh, sorry. I didn't hear you. I'm looking for a guest there. His name is Michael Grates. Hold one moment, please. That guest is out. Would you like to leave a message? Oh... no. That's OK. I'll just try again later. Thanks. Hi. I'm Cheryl Goode and welcome to "Wedgie"... the world of hip couture. This week, we're in south-central Los Angeles... at the intersection of Florence and Normandy... the flashpoint of fashion. The phattest gangsta trend will increase your peace. This bandanna by Donna Karin... is blue for Crips, red for Bloods... and only costs seventy-five dollars. Lainie, have you seen a pack of guitar strings? I have to bring them to the club. You know, I hope he knows... that he still has to pay some rent around here. I mean... Ha ha. I don't know where he thinks he's spending his nights, but... Do you know? I'm late for a jean-folding seminar. Let's locomote. Now you can call your own personal psychic... anytime 24 hours a day... thanks to the nationwide Psychic Discovery Network. You can pick up the phone and talk directly... with an established professional psychic... in the privacy of your own home. I was unhappy in my career, and I needed a change. But I didn't know what to do. It's just that nothing is going down according to plan. I mean, my best friend... I feel like I've lost him forever... and he was like my touchstone, you know. WOMAN ON TELEPHONE: This man... does his name start with the letter "N"? Because I'm getting a very strong "N" vibration. Newsstand. "N," newsstand. He used to work at a newsstand. Uh-huh. Oh, god. This is unbelievable. Honey, that's not all I'm getting. There are people I know from high school... who are already married and having babies. I mean, babies, OK? I can't even take care of a Chia Pet. Well, honey, I didn't have kids... until I was on my third husband. Oh, really? All Geminis. You know what I think, Tanell? I think you still really love Monty. Yeah, you're probably right... but it don't matter now. Oh, yes, it does, Tanell. I know you're afraid, but you've got to find him... and you've got to tell him how you really feel. Find him? I got... Lelaina. We need to talk to you. Hold on, Tanell. Hold on. I'm on the phone. Yeah, I can see that... and we have a four-hundred and six dollar phone bill... mainly due to some calls to a 1-900 number. Lelaina, I'm so seriously troubled... Listen, we'd help you out, but we're broke, too. And you know we can't afford a new deposit... if the phone gets shut off. Maybe you could borrow the money from Michael. No, Sammy. Jesus. Lainie, what are you doing? What are you doing? You lay on that couch all day. Those pajamas are like your uniform. You run up a four-hundred dollar phone bill. You watch TV. You chain-smoke. You don't go outside. You don't do anything. Man, you are in the bell jar. Look, this is my apartment. I signed the lease. I let you move in here when you had no job, no money... and you sponged off me for two months! Sponged? Uh-huh. And now Miss Big Power Marm... Miss "I'm manager of the Gap now"... you think you can just come in here and push me around?! She's not being pushy. Sammy, what are you even doing here? You don't live here! Hey, my little unemployed waif... you're the one who's looking for work now, OK? God, you're really enjoying this, aren't you? You're high. Why don't you go take a walk outside and get some fresh air? You've been waiting for this since the day we met. Who told you that? Your psychic partner? I'll tell you the problem with your generation. You don't have any work ethic. Now, you take your friend Troy, for example. I went out of my way to set up an interview for him... and he didn't even bother to show up. That wasn't his fault. He asked me to call and cancel. And everything was going on. And it slipped my mind. And I'm... sorry, but, you know, I have a work ethic, dad. I have a very strong work ethic, you know. Ask anyone. Then all you got to do is show some ingenuity, hmm? Darling, I love you, and I hate to break your plate... but you got to grow up sometime. Now, I want you to go out there and show me some ingenuity, hmm? Let me talk with you, my baby It is bad to say that maybe It is time for you to say we Came to share a point of view Living in the never-never Dropping out of here together I could spend some time forever With a girl like you, let me hear you say Let's go, ooh You want to turn it in, turn it into heaven, yeah Let's go Ooh, ooh, ooh You want to turn it in, turn it into heaven, yeah Right here on earth. Looking for tomorrow Can you see us one day? Beg or steal or borrow We could live forever Never to say never You will be for me I will fight for you, now Let's go Ooh, ooh, ooh You want to turn it in, turn it into heaven, yeah... Well, that solves our first problem. Rent's due this week. Well, well. Look who finally decided to grace us with his... Presence. This is... This is, uh, Jean. Janine. Uh, Janine. Janine. It's a little loud in the club. Excuse me. Can't stay here, Troy. I'm just gonna pick something up. Well... Mission accomplished. Now leave. I think maybe I'm gonna wait... Always the mistress of etiquette, huh, Lainie? Just out of curiosity... why are you suddenly acting like a jealous girlfriend? All right. We're just trying to pay bills here, OK? So, Troy, if you got any money... Money? Oh, but what's money to an artist? To a philosopher? It's just green-colored paper... that floats in and out of his life like snow. It's nothing you actually have to, I don't know, work for... is it, Troy? No, not if you have daddy's little gas card. You shut up! You shut up! I busted my ass to find a job, any job! You don't even bother showing up for interviews! What is it that you want from me? Huh? What is it? You want me to get a job on the line... for the next 20 years, until I'm granted leave... with my gold-plated watch and my balls full of tumors... because I surrendered the one thing that means shit to me? Well, honey, you can just exhale... because it's not gonna happen, not in this lifetime. All right, fine! You don't want to work, fine! Lainie, goddamn it! You want to be a band, then be a goddamn band! Rehearse every day! Play every night! Play three times a night! Don't just dick around the same coffeehouse for five years! Don't dick around with her or with me. I mean, try at something, for once in your life! Do something about it, but you know what? You better do it now, and you better do it fast... because the world doesn't owe you any favors... and whether you know it or not... you're on the inside track to Loserville, U.S.A... just like him. OK. It's just too psychotic in here now. All right, Lelaina, let's go for a walk. Fine. Come on, man. Let them go. With pleasure, my friends. With pleasure. Ha. "With pleasure"? You know who I really feel sorry for... is that poor girl. Oh, how about when he sneaks his laundry in with ours? It's like I'm pulling that stuff out of the dryer... and there's five pairs of his boxers... I just washed unknowingly. No, I'll just throw it back in his face. Yeah, like I'm gonna do his laundry. Yeah. He's weird. He's strange. He's sloppy. He's a total nightmare for women. I can't believe I haven't slept with him yet. Do you ever wish you were a lesbian? Don't you think it would be so much easier? Sometimes, but... Nah. I couldn't go through with it. I'd start laughing or something. But it's such a shame... because I am so through with men. If one more guy walks out on me... I don't even know what. I swear. What are you talking about... Walk out on you? You walk out on them. I've seen you. You're out the door before the condom comes off. Listen to me, I'm just beating them to the punch. OK. You don't even know I'm sitting here... maybe... Probably dying of A.I.D.S. And I'm totally alone. Vickie... Well, uh... you're not alone. Hey. Look, I'm sorry for everything I said... and I'm sorry for being such a bitch... but I have to tell you, you're not alone. You're not, and you're not dying of A.I.D.S. You don't understand. Every day, all day... it's all that I think about, OK? Every time I sneeze... it's like I'm four sneezes away from the hospice. And it's like it's not even happening to me. It's like I'm watching it on some crappy show... like "Melrose Place" or some shit, right? And I'm the new character. I'm the H.I.V.-A.I.D.S. character... and I live in the building, and I teach everybody... that it's OK to be near me, it's OK to talk to me... and then I die... and there's everybody at my funeral... wearing halter tops and chokers or some shit like that. Vickie, stop, OK? Just stop. You're freaking out, and you know what? You're gonna have to deal with the results. Whatever they are, we're gonna have to deal with them... just like we've dealt with everything else. This isn't like everything else. I know that, all right? But it's gonna be OK, you know? I know it's gonna be OK. "Melrose Place" is a really good show. WOMAN ON LOUDSPEAKER: Lelaina Pierce. Is there a Lelaina Pierce here? Yeah. Hello. Lelaina? Ha ha! Hi! Look, I had to call you right away. Listen, listen. Don't kill me, OK? What? What? I took the tape, and I showed it. No. Wait, wait, wait. Listen. They freaked out. They want to buy them. -No. -Yes. They liked it? No, no. I mean, they, like, psychotically loved it. They want to pay you for it. I know this isn't P B.S., but is this OK? Yes! I was this close to selling fruit at intersections. Well, don't, all right? Don't. Just hang on, and I'm gonna get you some money... and I'm gonna be down there in a few days... and I just... I'm just, like... I'm thinking about you every second here. Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello! Can you hear me now? Where are you? I'm in a phone booth. Why are you on a cellular phone? I don't know. I have no idea. I'm just... Michael, Michael, Michael, I... I really miss you! I really miss you, too. I love you. Oh! Whoa! I mean... I mean... you amaze me. No! You amaze me! Hello? Can you hear me? Michael, I'm losing you. I'm gonna call you back. Wait. What? Pay phone outside... always amazes me. Hey. "Try me. I'm free. " Good mag. Good mag. -Negatory. -Yeah! All right! Did you hear that? Negative! Here. Let me see that. Hey, hey! All rightie! Thanks for the help, Lainie. A celebration zoom. OK. Enough. -Ma! -I'm right here, son. -Ma. -Yeah? I have to tell you some... thing. I am... a... homo... sexual. Oh, Christ. Is there a support group that I can join... to help me come to terms with my own homophobia? Yes, there is... a group which is named P F L.A.G.... Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays. Oh. Oh. P F L.A.G. I'm beginning to like the sound of that. What you've just witnessed here is a preenactment... of events that are about to take place. Well... I came out to her, and... she's still a little bit upset. But you know... You know, I think the real reason... that I've been celibate for so long... isn't really because I'm that terrified of the big "A"... but because I can't really start my life... without being honest about who I am and... SAMMY ON TAPE: I want to be in there, too. I want to feel miserable and happy and all of that. I mean, I... I want to... I want to be let back in the house. Hello. Oh, hi. Um... sorry. Just... the door was... So I just, um... Yeah, she's getting dressed. Great. I'll just... Oh, I, um... I don't know if she told you... but I just came back from New York... with the tapes that she made, and the stuff of you... it's really... it's really great stuff. Really. That whole... that whole thing about... "Nobody can eat all the eggs," that was... that was really... I was quoting Cool Hand Luke. Yeah. That's OK. I mean... That's... I know. It's... I mean... You know... It's still... It's... Hi. -Hi. -Hi. What happened to your normal clothes? Wow! Lelaina, look at you. You look... Where'd you get that dress? Oh, um... I don't know. I just bought it. But I think I'm gonna go change because... No, don't. You look beautiful. You look like... You look like... A doily. -I'm gonna change. -No, don't change. And don't go thinking for yourself either, Lainie. Hey, what is your glitch, huh? My "glitch"? You know what? We're already late. No, no, no, no. Hang on a second here. Do you have, like, a problem with me or something? Because if you do, let's just get this out, all right? Seriously, is there, like... I mean, have I, like, uh... stepped over some line in the sands of coolness with you? Because.. Because... No, no, no. Excuse me... if somebody doesn't know the secret handshake with you. There's no secret handshake. There's an I.Q. prerequisite, but there's no secret handshake. I... This is... You... No... This guy... you've got this whole thing with the world. Don't you? Huh? That's great. That's really wonderful. But guess what. I'm a human being, OK? We're human beings, people, OK? We're not, like, intelligence quotations or whatever. -Just ignore him. -No! Done. Come on. Let's go. You don't need this. You don't know what she needs. I think I know what she needs in a way that you never will. Let's go. Baby, tell me that my love ain't good I don't treat you right, I don't do you like I should... Listen, that's got to be back here, OK? -Hi. -Hi. So, you ready? Well, what's it like? I mean... It's great. It's great. I mean, I haven't actually seen it yet... but we had our best guys working on it... and, you know, we just put some titles on... and shaped it a little bit. It's gonna be great. OK. OK, OK. OK. Thanks. OK, everybody, it's a special night... because, as you know, we're entering into... a new phase here at the channel... real programming. And our first step is this remarkable piece... by Lelaina. So hang on, because this is going to change... the face of "In Your Face. " What's this? It's just transitional stuff. MAN, SINGING: La la la-la la The story of my life We're finished! SINGING: School's out forever I am not under any orders to make the world a better place. And you wonder why we never got involved. SINGING: School's been blown to pieces SINGING: Love can make you weep I don't want to get married... because I see how my parents are. -My parents got divorced... -My parents got divorced... -When I was fourteen. -When I was five years old. My mother actually goes to the bathroom with the door open. I swore to myself I'd never get married. I want passion. Let's talk about sex, baby, let's talk about... Turns you on, doesn't it? Brownies! Would you two just do it and get it over with? I'm starving. Oh, my god. LELAINA, ON VIDEO: But the question remains... How can we repair all the damage we inherited? I was told there'd be no math on this exam. Can I change my answer? The answer is simple. We're on a road to nowhere Jesus. The answer is... The-the-the answer is... Pizza! Pizza. Pizza. Ha ha. Oh... -It's, um... -Yeah, right. We're on a road to nowhere But here we go Lelaina. Lelaina, look. I'm sorry, all right? I didn't know. That was not my work, Michael. That's not what I did. That's not what I want. It had nothing! I can't believe I trusted you! I had no idea! I didn't see it! I mean, look. I guess it was probably a little slow... and they cut it up a little... Cut it up? They cut up everything that meant anything to me! I mean, I don't even think you realize what you've done. You don't get it. You just don't get it! I do get it! Look. It just... It's, like, you have this great piece of work... and we have this audience, these kids... and it's like trying to feed them meatloaf or something... and they don't want to eat it, right? So you have to give them, like, "Here comes the plane. "It's coming into the hangar. Open up the hangar. " But it's still meatloaf. It was never meatloaf! That's a bad... I just... Look, I'm sorry, all right? They were just trying to market it. And I wish I could be perfect, OK? I wish I could be like Troy... riding on his melted cheese sandwich and everything. Don't you dare bring Troy into this. Hey, I wish I could be like him. I wish I could live off of creeds and mottoes... and all that shit, all right? But I'm in the real world here, OK? And I have ideals also. They're that I... I care about you... and I want to make you happy... and I'm... I just... Look... I'll make them take the pizza thing out, OK? I'm just a bill Yes, I'm only a bill And I'm sitting here on Capitol Hill Well, it's a long, long journey to... How'd the big premiere turn out? Fine. They were just videotapes, right? Who cares? Ha ha. I just worked so hard on them, you know? I worked so hard. Ah, forget it. I just sound pathetic. No, you don't. You don't sound pathetic. You know, I know it sounds stupid... but it really meant something to me. I know it wasn't gonna, you know, end world hunger... or, you know, save the planet... but it just meant something to me. I just don't... Understand why things just can't go back to normal... at the end of the half-hour... like on "The Brady Bunch" or something. Well, because Mr. Brady died of A.I.D.S. Things don't work out like that. I was really gonna be something by the age of twenty-three. Honey, all you have to be by the age of twenty-three... is yourself. I don't know who that is anymore. Well, I do. And we all love her. I love her. Uh... She breaks my heart again and again... but, uh... But I love her. I've wanted you like this for all these years. Hey. Hi. Ha ha. Where are you going? I have rehearsal. At 8:24 in the morning? Yeah. Ha ha. -So... that's it? -No. No, that's not... It's not it. I just... I, uh... I have to go. Got a party mama, got a cokehead dad I'm the ultimate inversion, the American man Don't feel good, but don't feel bad It's me, you see, I'm nuthin' I ain't left, I ain't right I feel so alone Before I was born, I was all gone Don't even make sense that I wrote this song 'Cause... Tell me it's not true. TROY, SINGING: It's me, you see, I'm nuthin' I'm nuthin' Nuthin' That's me I'm nuthin' Lainie, sex is the quickest way to ruin a friendship. Come on. Thank you. We'll be right back... with a new American cheese snack idea. You got a phone call. Lelaina. -Hi. -Hi. Don't say anything, all right? Look, I screwed up, all right? I know. I should have protected you and your work... and I didn't, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I didn't. And I want to make this up to you, OK? You mean so much to me, Lelaina... and I just... Look, two tickets, all right, New York. We go, and we give them a presentation... of the show the way you want it done. Michael, I don't... I know. I know, but this time is different. I mean, who's the boss, huh? Huh? Tony Danza? No. I don't think so. It's you. It's your show, and I just... I just... you know, feel like maybe... I deserve another shot here. Well, hi, Lelaina. Hi. What, is there a frog in your throat... or are you just glad to see me? Hi, Mike. Thanks for coming down, man. No hard feelings. Lelaina, you're looking a little peaked. Yeah. Are you OK? She's fine. She's fine. She's just had too many Diet Cokes today. Yeah, this girl is cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Ha. So, are you gonna tell him, or am I? Could you excuse me? Could I talk to you? Hi. You want to tell me what the hell he's doing here? I wanted to talk to you. What the hell do you care? You totally bailed on me this morning. I panicked. It happens. I thought we could work it out, you know. I mean, I don't know if now is the right time for us. Look, I meant everything that I said to you last night. Don't look at me like that. Don't look at me like that. That's not what I'm saying. I'm not saying I... Look, you are the only woman... that I could ever commit myself to. So what? Do I get a medal? I win the big commitment cook-off, and you just run away? I knew this was gonna happen! I knew this was gonna happen! I don't want to lose you. I've never been in an experience like this before. I've never had sex with somebody that I loved before. Oh, well, congratulations, Troy Dyer. Welcome to the world of the emotionally immature. It's a really nice place to visit. Hey, you may run into Michael. He lives here. Oh, yeah, right. Michael. Michael. He's so mature... because he lets you navigate that entire relationship. Well, I'm sorry, Lelaina, but you can't navigate me. I might do mean things, and I might hurt you... and I might run away without your permission... and you might hate me forever. And I know that that scares the shit out of you... because I'm the only real thing that you have. Yeah? Well, that ain't real much. One, two, three, four. Hey, Troy, man, you're on. Michael, I'm sorry... Listen, I'm sorry, all right? That's what this is all about. This one's for you, Lainie. Why can't I get just one kiss? Why can't I get just one kiss? You told me there'd be some things that I wouldn't miss But I looked at your pants And I need a kiss Why can't I get just one screw? Why can't I get just one screw? Believe me, I'd know what to do But something won't let me make love to you Why can't I get just one ah? Why can't I get just one ah? Oh, nice job. Very well done. Really good. I don't want to hear it from you. Yeah? Well, I forgot I'm not qualified to talk to you. I'm sorry I can't be Mister... Hey, look at me. I'm Buddha on the mountaintop. You know what you are, man? You what what you remind me of? You're like that guy, you know, with the... with the hat and the bells and the little, you know... The court jester. Yeah, right. Where everything's so easy to laugh at... from a safe distance back in Clever-Clever Land. You know what happens to him? They find his skull in a grave, and they go... "Oh, I knew him, and he was funny. " And the guy, the court jester, dies all by himself. Where'd you hear that, a Renaissance festival? Besides, everyone dies all by himself. If you really believe that... Who are you looking for out here? SINGING: You say you want Diamonds on a ring of gold You say you want Your story to remain untold But all the promises we make From the cradle to the grave When all I want is you You say you'll give me A highway with no one on it Treasure just to look upon it All the riches in the night You say you'll give me Eyes in a moon of blindness A river in a time of dryness A harbour in the tempest But all the promises we make From the cradle to the grave When all I want is you Hello. Hello? SINGING: All I want is you All I want is you All I want is you... -Hey, Lainie. This is Lance. -Hi. Um... I just need to know if he's OK. Huh? OK. All I know is he went back to Chicago... alone. I'm not supposed to know that, am I? Shit. Shit. Hi. I was wondering if I could talk to you for a minute... before you go. See, the thing is that, um... Well... my dad died. Oh, god, Troy. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. No. It... What happened was that, um... I kind of got this arcane glimpse at the universe. And the best thing that I can say about that is... I don't know. I... I have this... this planet of regret... sitting on my shoulders. And you have no idea how much I wish that I could go back... to that morning after we made love... and do everything different. But I know that I can't, so... I thought that I would come here and tell you something. And what I wanted to tell you... was that I love you... and, uh... just wanted to make sure that that was clear... so that there wasn't any confusion. Um... So, anyway, uh... Where are you going? I was going to look for you. What for? Just... wanted to see if you were OK. Well, I had a shitty week, you know. A froggy went a-courting, and he did ride With a sword and a pistol by his side Uh-huh, uh-huh, mmm-hmm-hmm Well, he rode right up to Miss Mousie's door... TROY ON ANSWERING MACHINE: At the beep... please leave your name, number, and a brief justification... for the ontological necessity... of modern man's existential dilemma... and we'll get back to you. Uh, Lelaina, this is your dad. Give me a call when you get this. I need you to explain something. I just got a nine-hundred-dollar bill on my gas card. If we should fall, love will catch us every time I hear you call, I will run And if the magic of the adventure overcomes We won't cry, because it could be fun What I'm trying to do is constantly find those people... find out what makes them the best and bring that... Tired of getting razzes for being bald? I'm only a young man. No more dates where I've been called old man. Roy, why are you doing this to me? I know we can be happy together. You'll chill in time. Right now, I need someone... who understands what my music and the band mean to me. But it's just music, Roy. I'm a human being with deep feelings... who feels things deeply. Music is feeling, babe. The band may be a small dream, but it's the only one I've got. I'm Audi 5000. Please don't let him get drunk and drive. SINGING: Won't be very long Till I'm going, going, gone You say I only hear what I want to You say I talk so all the time So? And I thought what I felt was simple And I thought that I don't belong And now that I am leaving Now I know that I did something wrong 'Cause I missed you Yeah, yeah, I missed you And you say I only hear what I want to I don't listen hard, I don't pay attention To the distance that you're running Or to anyone, anywhere I don't understand if you really care I'm only hearing negative, no, no, no, no No... So I turned the radio on, I turned the radio up And this woman was singing my song The lover's in love, and the other's run away The lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay Some of us hover when we weep for the other Who was dying since the day they were born, well Well, this is not that, I think that I'm throwing But I'm thrown And I thought I'd live forever, but now I'm not so sure You try to tell me that I'm clever But that won't take me anyhow Or anywhere with you You said that I was naive and I thought that I was strong, no I thought, hey, I can leave, I can leave, though But now I know that I was wrong Because I missed you Yeah, I missed you