前情提要，Hannah Gadsby生于澳大利亞一個非常傳統的城市，她本人是同性戀。這場演出是她的告別演出。 原文來自于https://scrapsfromtheloft.com/2018/07/21/hannah-gadsby-nanette-transcript/，以下翻譯了原show 50分鐘之后的部分，但還是建議有條件原來的視頻。文字難免斷章取義，有些翻譯也失去了原詞句的詞義。演出本身則非常、非常、非常有力量。 “脫口秀一般都是關于神父戀童癖或者川普摸了哪個女人的段子。我沒時間講那些。你們知道嗎，莫妮卡·萊溫斯基曾經是喜劇人最愛調侃的對象。如果那時候我們沒有調侃受害者，而是把火力聚集到那些濫用職權的男人身上，今天白宮里或許就可以坐著一個中年女性，有著相關的政治經驗，而不是看著一個男人公開宣揚自己的性侵史。“

Comedy is more used to throwaway jokes about priests being pedophiles and Trump grabbing the pussy. I don’t have time for that shit. I don’t. Do you know who used to be an easy punch line? Monica Lewinsky. Maybe, if comedians had done their job properly, and made fun of the man who abused his power, then perhaps we might have had a middle-aged woman with an appropriate amount of experience in the White House, instead of, as we do, a man who openly admitted to sexually assaulting vulnerable young women because he could.

“還有什么應該成為我們調侃的對象？對名譽的沉迷。我們太看重名譽了，認為名譽高于一切，甚至高于人性。名人毫無疑問崇尚名譽，喜劇人也一樣，川普、伍迪艾倫、畢加索……這些男人不是例外，他們是規則本人。他們不是個體，他們是我們的故事。而這些故事的核心是：我們根本他媽的不在乎。女人或兒童？關我屁事。我們只關心男人的名譽。“

Do you know what should be the target of our jokes at the moment? Our obsession with reputation. We’re obsessed. We think reputation is more important than anything else, including humanity. ... These men are not exceptions, they are the rule. And they are not individuals, they are our stories. And the moral of our story is, “We don’t give a shit. We don’t give a fuck… about women or children. We only care about a man’s reputation.”

（Hannah講到這里很激動） “我道歉。我知道有些人會講，‘你看，她失去控制了‘。很對。我的確不擅長控制憤怒，尤其在舞臺上，我也不應該憤怒。我原本是應該講一些自嘲的段子的。 男性憤怒的時候觀眾就會放松一點，他們才是這種風格的主導者。我憤怒的時候，就變成了一個可憐的女同性戀斤斤計較。 男性憤怒的時候，wow，言論自由的英雄！我很喜歡白人男性的喜劇，非常好笑，非常有魅力。問題是：他們有什么可憤怒的？小朋友啊。他們好像是籠子里的金絲雀。如果他們也覺得生活艱難，余下的人大概已經死掉了。“

Look, I am angry. I apologize. I do, I apologize. I know… I know there’s a few people in the room going, “Now, look… I think… she’s lost control of the tension.” That’s correct. I went on it a bit there. So, I’m not very experienced in controlling anger. It’s not my place to be angry on a comedy stage. I’m meant to be doing… self-deprecating humor. People feel safer when men do the angry comedy. They’re the kings of the genre. When I do it, I’m a miserable lesbian, ruining all the fun and the banter. When men do it, heroes of free speech. I love… angry white man comedy. It’s so funny, it’s hilarious. They’re adorable. Why are they angry? What’s up, little fella? What are they angry about? Gosh, can’t work it out. They’re like the canaries in the mine, aren’t they? If they’re having a tough time… the rest of us are goners.

“別人一直說我是厭男癥。我不討厭男人，真的，我也不相信女性比男性更好。我認為當我們給予女性無上權力之后，女性和男性一樣會墮落——但男人們，你們不能擁有不可撼動的權力，尤其在人性問題上。但如你所見，權力對于你們來說與生俱來，而如果你們不能接受批評、接受玩笑、或者不動用暴力來解決矛盾，你應該想想你還想要這個權力嗎？“

All my life, I’ve been told that I’m a man-hater. I don’t hate men, I honestly do not. I don’t hate men. But… there’s a problem. See, I don’t even believe that women are better than men. I believe women are just as corruptible by power as men, because you know what, fellas, you don’t have a monopoly on the human condition, you arrogant fucks. But the story is as you have told it. Power belongs to you. And if you can’t handle criticism, take a joke, or deal with your own tension without violence, you have to wonder if you are up to the task of being in charge.

“我不討厭男人，但我懼怕他們。如果我是一整屋男性里唯一的女性，我感到害怕。如果你覺得我這種害怕只是少數，那么你根本不了解你身邊的任何女性。 我不討厭男人，但我好奇如果他們處在我的位置會作何感想。因為是男性性侵了我，是男性在我17歲最好的年紀里毆打我，是男性在我童年的時候性侵我，是男性在我20多歲的時候幾乎強奸了我。為什么這些都是可以接受的？你們不如直接把我拖去后院然后擊斃了我——如果那是我作為主流群體之外的人所必須付出的代價！“

I’m not a man-hater. But I’m afraid of men. If I’m the only woman in a room full of men, I am afraid. And if you think that’s unusual, you’re not speaking to the women in your life. I don’t hate men, but I wonder how a man would feel if they’d lived my life. Because it was a man who sexually abused me when I was a child. It was a man who beat the shit out of me when I was 17, my prime. It was two men who raped me when I was barely in my twenties. Tell me why is that okay. Why was it okay to pick me off the pack like that and do that to me? It would have been more humane to just take me out to the back paddock and put a bullet in my head if it is that much of a crime to be different!

“我不想說這些，是因為我不希望你們把我當成一個受害者。我不是受害者，因為我的故事有它的價值。我今天把這些故事說出來是因為我希望你們知道，失去了權力不意味著失去人性。你的韌性才是韌性。只有那些認為他們有權力欺凌權力下端的人才喪失了人性——他們才是軟弱的人！”

I don’t tell you this… so you think of me as a victim. I am not a victim. I tell you this because my story has value. My story has value. I tell you this ’cause I want you to know, I need you to know, what I know. To be rendered powerless does not destroy your humanity. Your resilience is your humanity. The only people who lose their humanity are those who believe they have the right to render another human being powerless. They are the weak.

“生長而不夭折，這需要驚人的力量。你摧毀了一個女人，你也摧毀了她所經歷的一切。我無法接受我的故事被毀滅。我把我的故事講出來，不是為了被譴責，不是為了保護名譽，不是為了錢和權力……我希望我不是一個人。我希望感受到連結，我希望我的故事被聽到。畢加索很可能是對的，如果我們從各個視角來看問題，我們的確可以畫出更好的畫。多元是力量。差別是老師。如果你懼怕差異，你什么都學不到。“

To yield and not break, that is incredible strength. You destroy the woman, you destroy the past she represents. I will not allow my story… to be destroyed. What I would have done to have heard a story like mine. Not for blame. Not for reputation, not for money, not for power. But to feel less alone. To feel connected. I want my story… heard. Because, ironically, I believe Picasso was right. I believe we could paint a better world if we learned how to see it from all perspectives, as many perspectives as we possibly could. Because diversity is strength. Difference is a teacher. Fear difference, you learn nothing. “

沒有什么比一個被摧毀的女性重新站起來更強大。

"There is nothing stronger than a broken woman who has rebuilt herself. "

舞臺下的男性——你們一定覺得我整晚都在針對你們吧。沒錯。但這只是舞臺，我的故事只持續一小時，我的人生卻有一輩子。我所受到的傷害太嚴重了，我無法完全愈合。這就是，我為什么必須離開脫口秀舞臺的原因。因為只有這樣，我才能毫無畏懼地表達我的憤怒，因為我有任何權力去憤怒！

To the men in the room… who feel I may have been persecuting you this evening… well spotted. That’s pretty much what I’ve done there. But this is theater, fellas. I’ve given you an hour, a taste. I have lived a life. The damage done to me is real and debilitating. I will never flourish. But this is why… I must quit comedy. Because the only way… I can tell my truthand put tension in the room is with anger. And I am angry, and I believe I’ve got every right to be angry!

但我不應該做的是，傳播這種憤怒。因為憤怒和笑聲一樣，可以把整場陌生人聯系在一起。但不一樣的是，憤怒無法解決沖突。憤怒本身就是沖突。憤怒是有毒的、可以傳染的沖突。憤怒除了盲目傳遞憎恨之外沒有任何意義，因為我不愿意傳播憤怒。

But what I don’t have a right to do is to spread anger. I don’t. Because anger, much like laughter, can connect a room full of strangers like nothing else. But anger, even if it’s connected to laughter, will not… relieve tension. Because anger is a tension. It is a toxic, infectious… tension. And it knows no other purpose than to spread blind hatred, and I want no part of it.

我視我的言論自由為一種責任。僅僅因為我可以把自己當成受害者，并不使我的憤怒更有意義。憤怒永遠沒有意義。笑話不是我們的解藥，笑話只是把苦澀的現實裹上了糖衣，故事本身才是最終答案。

Because I take my freedom of speech as a responsibility, and just because I can position myself as a victim, does not make my anger constructive. It never is constructive. Laughter is not our medicine. Stories hold our cure. Laughter is just the honey that sweetens the bitter medicine.

我沒打算用笑聲或者憤怒連結你們，我只希望把我的故事講出來，讓大眾聽到。因為，無論你相不相信，我的故事就是你的故事。我沒有力氣再美化我的故事了，我也不愿意用憤怒來定義我的故事。我只希望你，可以和我站在一起，理解我的故事。

I don’t want to unite you with laughter or anger. I just needed my story heard, my story felt and understood by individuals with minds of their own. Because, like it or not, your story… is my story. And my story… is your story. I just don’t have the strength to take care of my story anymore. I don’t want my story defined by anger. All I can ask is just please help me take care of my story.

你知道梵高為什么畫出了向日葵嗎？不是因為梵高經歷了痛苦，而是因為他有一個全心全意愛著他的弟弟。在他經歷的所有折磨之外，他還有愛作為和世界的連結。這才是我們需要的故事。謝謝。

Do you know why we have the sunflowers? It’s not because Vincent van Gogh suffered. It’s because Vincent van Gogh had a brother who loved him. Through all the pain, he had a tether, a connection to the world. And that… is the focus of the story we need. Connection. Thank you.